The Emmy Of My Emmy Is My Friend: I take a week off and what happens? Nothing major, except for only the biggest awards for TV programs this side of the Golden Globes. Hosted by Jane “David” Lynch, nominees included many former film thespians who now ply their trade on the tiny screen due to the recession. I'm just funning, folks – I am glad that movie stars like Kathy “Norman” Bates are occupying space that used to belong strictly to shoddy names like John Stamos and Robin Williams. I'm happiest for Peter Dinklage, whose Danish-sounding accent provided scads of levity during Game Of Thrones Pulitzer Prize-deserving first season.

Two And A Half Men AKA The Kutcher Shop: While Charlie Sheen was attempting image revival, via an Emmy appearance and a Comedy Central Roast, Two And A Half Men debuted its replacement for Sheen, Mr. Demi Moore. I had the pleasure of watching the episode, and had forgotten how deeply hateful 2&1/2M's worldview is. Also, did they change the kid? The kid looks better than I remembered, and NO, I don't mean it in that way. Get your mind out of the gutter that Charlie Sheen sleeps in. Ashton plays a suicidal millionaire who buys Charlie's old place. Besides the fact that I have no idea how a millionaire could ever be suicidal, I find that to be a believable plot twist. I cannot wait to never watch an episode of that show ever again.

Netflix Divorces Itself: Echoing America’s divided nature, Netflix P.O.’d many people with umm … P.O. boxes this week when they officially split themselves up, creating a subsidiary called Qwikster that will provide DVD mailings, as Netflix focuses solely on streaming video. We in Canada never got to experience a dual-purposed Netflix. I haven’t heard great things about the company’s roster north of the border. In fact, I heard the only film Netflix Canada offers is children’s movie Gooby, available in both French and English. Qwikster also has a problem starting out of the gates thanks to the fact that there already is a Twitter user who holds the name, and he is a stoner who is probably blown away and confused by the idea of being mailed a movie he has to return.