I spent this past weekend ridding my house of all the junk and debris that had accumulated over the long winter. It’s incredible what a few months of cabin fever and winter-induced depression can do to the acquisitive rodent in one.

Anyway, out it went, all that stuff, which I won’t bother enumerating at this time, save to say that included among the items hurled to the curb was an eight-year-old television that profiled like an Edsel, massive and irrelevant, and a mattress, a double, upon which my dog had expressed a reactive emotion to being scolded for chewing at the leather sofa. When he chews at the leather sofa I scold him and he usually takes his medicine like a good dog but sometimes he reflexively (or vindictively) empties his bladder, or worse, he voids his bowels. On this one occasion, after a severe scolding, the dog both emptied his bladder and voided his bowels on said mattress, and despite hours spent scouring and sanitizing the mocha-tinted stain, it steadfastly held its ground, and thus the repugnant mattress found its way to the curb, with the behemoth antique television, where I presume someone from the city will remove it in time, unless I am mistaken.

Nevertheless, my point, though somewhat lost in peripherals, is clear: spring is a good time to clean out the antiquated televisions and fecal mattresses of your poker game. That’s right, friends. Let’s face it, your game has likely declined over the long winter months. I know my game turned into a carnivalesque travesty by the end of winter, perhaps out of boredom, perhaps out of frustration, but there it is. So I am determined now, as I was determined this past weekend, to clear my game of all the junk, the leaks, the flaws and amateurish tendencies that have accumulated over the past few months. In other words, when things get too ornate, too overrefined, too rococo, it’s time to shave off all the curlicues and arabesques and return to clean and simple lines.

At the poker tables at Fallsview I’ve noticed a growing tendency of players making moves for the sake of making moves – of course, to demonstrate their artistry. I’m talking about players who won’t play a hand without trying to make a manoeuvre, a bluff, a raise, a re-raise, an absurd all-in, a call and draw to a one-outer; players who are always working it. Too often they are blowing hot air. A simple, solid game is the answer to all the mouth-foaming maniacs and self-conscious fancy players out there – one of whom I was rapidly becoming.

So, in an effort to minimize and thus strengthen my game, and also rid myself of any stigma associated with being a junk player, I’ll stick to the basics. And that means playing only premium cards and playing them aggressively, using position to maximum advantage, avoiding all-ins unless I have the nuts, playing for smaller pots, stuff like that. I mean, I’m not going to be a rock about it, but I’m not going to be a leaf blowing around in the wind, loose and free, but dead.

Emile Frendo of the Honeymoon City is a semi-professional poker player and winner of the 2006 Pirate Poker Open Championship.