Cosmic Sweetie is a Chinese-Malaysian model in Toronto who´s been distributing her worn panties and other intimate apparel online for years. She puts a lot of emphasis on her subjective enjoyment in these processes and building relationships through this work. Along with some friends, she´s running this burusera (panty fetish) site with charm, and even provides a guide as to how to enjoy used panties.

Gallery: Personal Touch

¨¨Q: You started intimate modelling when you were quite young. Did certain folks influence you?
A: I was influenced by other girls doing the similar type of modeling and selling through eBay.

Q: What inspired you to develop Cosmicsweetie.com?
A: After discovering how interested people were in my intimates, I decided to develop my own basic website. Also, a major influence was my university tuition, which turned into my goal after realizing my popularity.

Q: Were you conscious of forms of panty fetishism in places like Japan, in terms of developing your approach to offering personal panties to interested parties?
A: While initially developing my website, gathering ideas, and looking at other websites, I noticed the use of vending machines and stores throughout Japan selling exactly what I did, which influenced me even more to start. The personal aspect of the transactions is the direction I approached – this from as I knew buying from a vending machine or store was very impersonal.

Q: Cosmicsweetie seems to explore aspects of fetishism and fantasy. What do you think of the various fantasies you’re constructing?
A: I love exploring fantasies and learning about what others desire from me, as I do take input from others as to what I do on a monthly basis. Engaging myself in these fetishes in front of a camera makes me feel both naughty and mischievous as they are primarily for my enjoyment – otherwise, I wouldn’t see any reason to sell them.

¨¨Q: Do you feel you’re building relationships in this work?
A: I know I am building relationships through this work. I have some very loyal customers who frequently keep in touch and [we] talk about our daily lives and ordinary things. I have become open with some who have shared very sexual fantasies and experiences which bring us closer and make this even more personal.

¨¨Q: Would you describe some of the fantasies you enjoy with this sort of web modelling?
¨¨A: I love seeing pictures and videos of my fans enjoying my panties. This adds to the realism and really makes me horny – especially as I respond to their email, thinking about what they are doing and imagining them with me at that very moment.

Q: It’s interesting, you’re open to how long you would wear a given item for a buyer. Has it been noticeable – what’s the longest you’ve been asked to wear something?
A: That was an option I included later after the website initially opened as wearing them for longer periods of time became extremely popular. On average, two to three days is how long people enjoy them, I have been requested to wear them for a week, which I have happily done.

Q: Beyond the length of time you’re wearing something, are there directions as to what psychology, what moods you’re to bring to the wearing? How do you feel when you’re wearing panties consciously intended for another person? Does it become more like a performance?
A: Depending on who I’m wearing it for, I feel different as I remember what we´ve talked about, how they enjoy them and any special requests they had (such as wearing them to the gym, playing with myself, etc.). While replying to their emails, I do get aroused, especially while I have their panties on – it only makes the experience better. One of my favourite parts is telling them what I´d like them to do with them, and when they report back to me.

Q: Do you find your experience modelling panties is different, say, from your process of wearing nylons or shoes? What about when you’ve worn bras?
A: I find my panties are the most intimate as they touch my most private part all day and night.¨¨

Q: How do you see the qualities of this intimacy? What do you think of how panty fetishism involves olfactory qualities?¨
A: I see the qualities of this intimacy as being both exotic and erotic. Panty fetishism by involving the olfactory brings a more realistic fantasy because it’s not just looking at images but associating them with a particular scent that belongs to a female. There are scents that can trigger different emotions for different people. I relate it back to Smell-O-Vision, where you get to see how great it is in pictures/video but in this case you also get to have the panties to enjoy the scent too. I hope this answers the question.¨¨

Q: Are you interested in the scents you’re sending out? Are you curious about the scent of the people you’re working with?¨
A: I do get a high from the beautiful smell left on my panties and always check them before I send them out. I don’t send out anything I wouldn’t thoroughly enjoy myself. I have smelled and tasted my friends panties as well, both for my own personal pleasure as well as by request. ¨

Q: There’s a component to your site where you’re stripping out of a favoured naughty outfit every month. Are you generally interested in apparel, processes of wear and disrobing, and how it plays in attraction?
A: I get a lot of enjoyment choosing a naughty outfit, putting it on and feeling sexy. Playing with myself only heightens the experience and gives me a sensation of interacting with my customers.

Q: Being that you’re open about how you’re half Chinese and half Malaysian, are you interested in ideas of how Asians are eroticized or romanticized in contemporary culture?
A: I do notice how people are attracted to me as I am Asian and find that it only adds to the enjoyment. I like using my innocence as a way to increase arousal. I do like reading emails about fantasies of other men wishing they could meet the Asian girl of their dream, and they use me as a way of feeling like they have.¨¨

Q: You have several friends who join at times, selling their worn panties through your site. What do you think about the construction of panty dynamics involving a number of girls?
A: This has been one aspect which excites me to explore and it´s been developing more and more as of recently. Involving my actual friends has added a significant amount of realism, as we are all normal "girls next door." People love having something from the both of us, it makes the experience extra special.

Q: Do you think what you’re doing with friends differs from common images sexualizing groups of girls?
A: I believe we are more amateur as compared to other material available online, but that is the niche I´m looking to fill – actual amateur work done to a more professional level – that is what I am trying to achieve.

Q: Do you find there are varying stories behind this sort of modelling? Are your friends who have their own panty sites, seeing these processes differently?
A: I wouldn’t say so.

Q: Have you known men who enjoy wearing feminine stockings and other intimate apparel?
A: I have quite a few of my customers who wear my panties, stockings and dress up in my intimate apparel. They have sent me pictures and enjoy talking about it with me. It´s something they can do privately without feeling embarrassed.

Q: Have you worked with individual men mostly? Are there others you find interested in this sort of intimate collecting?
A: Almost all sales have been to individuals but I have had a few couples who wanted to enjoy custom work from me – both videos and panties. Another rare occasion is having other females interested in my panties, which I have assumed is a lesbian fetish.

Q: Do you see yourself as a collector of sorts? While they’ve collected from you, do you seek other things from your admirers?
A: I do receive videos, pictures and stories, which I do keep – so yes, you could say I’m a collector of sorts. My girlfriends love watching them with me, it really adds to the fun of what we do, and most importantly keeps us interested.

¨¨Q: As you’ve done this form of modelling for a while, has it affected your everyday sense of how you´re seen, your sexuality?
A: I wouldn´t say so, as what I do is kept completely private and I do not show my face.

Q: Is it ever challenging to bring aspects of self so closely to your work?
A: Yes, sometimes this can get repetitive, but I like to change things up as often as I can to keep it unique and interesting.

¨¨Q: You provide a guide about how to enjoy used panties. Have you been surprised how your items can be enjoyed?
A: This has been one of my most popular sellers; it´s a fantasy where they can watch me do what they would do with my panties. I have made a sequel (Part 2) due to the vast interest. One day, I couldn’t resist but to see what it was like for them to enjoy my panties, and it´s something I´ve truly loved ever since. I have even begun re-wearing my friends´ panties as well as playing with theirs in custom videos.

Q: What do you enjoy the most in the course of this erotic site? Do you see the site changing?
A: I enjoy talking to and getting to know my clients, and giving them something they cannot get from anywhere else. Keeping this as personal of an experience as possible is my goal, as it makes me truly unique. I do see it changing down the road. I would like to make it more interactive and let them get to know me before purchasing, through the use of video and interactive website tools (such as Adobe Flash).

www.cosmicsweetie.com

Louise Bak is a poet, with books including Tulpa and Gingko Kitchen. She co-hosts Sex City, Toronto’s only radio show focused on relations between sexuality and culture (CIUT 89.5 FM). Her performance work has appeared in numerous spaces and in video collaborations such as Partial Selves and Crimes of the Heart.