It´s been a crazy week this week, week-watchers. Trends have come and gone (this week´s hot trend was "possibly being tired of Obama"), nachos have been eaten and celebrities have done stuff. They really have, check it:

Does Jude Law Wear Pants? It would seem he doesn´t, as he has reportedly impregnated an Australian model whom he was “getting the nasty on” with for all of two nights. Sounds like he´s guaranteed to have twins. It´s impressive when men who play cads in films decide to follow method acting. All of this sexual tomfoolery on Jude “In Love There Are No” Law´s part was to better understand his next acting role: as John Clap, the inventor of the STD. They wanted him to play Robin Hood in an upcoming film (about Robin Hood), but he doesn´t have too many arrows left in his bow, if you smell what I´m emitting. I´m not sure what I meant by my previous sentence either.

No Romo: As you may have heard, Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo ended their big-shouldered relationship a little while ago – the day before her birthday, apparently. Harsh! I hope his football-oriented interceptions are as hard as his heart seems to be. Not to mention that he´s pulling a Chris Brown (excepting the singing and the hitting) and he´s been seen out with blondes who look like heft-free versions of JesSimps. On top of all of that badness, he´s also banned her arena-sized butt from visiting his arena-sized home. I personally don´t know which of those two arena-sized things I would rather sleep on, but I know if I were in this situation I´d probably have an easier time understanding JeSip´s relationship rules than the rules of the NFL, because, like all Canadians, I am secretly a woman.

Ryan Wants Scarlett to Butt Out: According to Perez Hilton, Ryan Reynolds wants Scarlett Johansson to quit her icky nicotine habit for their wedding anniversary. According to me, the rest of the world wants ScarNsson to quit her even ickier Ryan Reynolds habit! Can I get a "You damn right, Nick?" No? Yes? Tweet me your responses.

And Drake Fell.... Speaking of Canadians who do well but have a tastable level of resentment from other men, Degrassi actor and fast-rising rappin´ singer Drake took a tumble on stage, breaking his knee. This didn´t make me laugh so much as say "Ow!" but I think it´s worth watching if only to understand that Drake feels as much pain as you or I.

Nick Flanagan is a comedian, freelance writer and professional huggist. Write popculture@toromagazine.com with questions or comments, or check him out at twitter.com/xflansx.