WEDNESDAY APRIL 23, 2014
 
Blog SEX COLUMN
UNCLE D: CANADIAN ASSMAN
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Uncle D is a photographer from Cape Breton Island, and the self-styled Canadian Assman has constructed a rock 'n' roll persona over the years in his quest to shoot models in posterior-hugging apparel. He strictly maintains a non-nude approach and has travelled the globe in search of derrière. He will reappear in season 2 of Webdreams, airing on Showcase, after his cameo in the first season of the show about the online adult-entertainment industry. TORO reach out to the fast-talking Uncle D to learn how one becomes an assman and to get his opinions on the state of the nation's booty.

Q: How did you develop the website Touchyourtoes.com, Skintightjeans.com and other related sites?
A:
Actually, my very first website was called Uncle D’s Tight Jeans n' Stuff and was started on a couple free web-hosting sites called Geocities and Xoom back in the mid-'90s. This was back in the infancy of the Internet and website development when websites were known as "webpages." Anyone that’s familiar with those sites and terms will give a nod of appreciation for how long I’ve been around.

Gallery: I Like Big Butts



Uncle D’s Tight Jeans n' Stuff was essentially video screen captures from a VHS video I filmed and edited of a model walking around in a pair of skin-tight Levi's jeans. I saw this girl with an incredible ass walk every day to class at college – it had to be idolized on camera. 


After a few years of the digital bouncing from free hosting to another I eventually did a brainstorming session to come up with something catchy and memorable as a website domain name. Since registering Uncle D’s Tight Jeans n’ Stuff as a dot-com domain name was out of the question because of the length of its grammatical structure, I thought of basing it around another element of the derrière’s positioning.

What’s one of the most memorable and head-turning visuals encompassing hidden elements of sexual stimulation with a dual play on words involving ass? Then the words are "touch your toes." Thus the website Touchyourtoes.com was created back in 2001. I resigned from the magazine I was assistant editor at and hired a photographer for the time and launched a membership for Touchyourtoes.com.



uncledinset.jpgA few months later I created Skintightjeans.com to satisfy my denim lovers fan base with a site that only focused on non-nude butts in skin-tight jeans, denim jean shorts, denim catsuits, cut-off booty shorts and basically anything denim related. 


Touchyourtoes.com, Skintightjeans.com and my other ass-related non-nude websites were never started as a business venture to rake in the cash, nor do I care about that now. It was a hobby at the time for an ass-preciation of a woman’s curves and backside.

I was attending Seneca College at the time enrolled in Creative Advertising and Radio and Television Broadcasting, as well as working part-time at rock radio station Q107 and sister station AM640. Toss in an additional part-time job pumping gas, dedicating months of volunteer work at the radio station to get my foot in the door for a job and you have a classic example of old-school work ethics. You want something done, you get off your ass and work for it.

Being a broke student and living off of Kraft Dinner and ketchup certainly wasn’t a life of luxury, so when fans started ordering my VHS tapes at the time it allowed me to add a side dish of hot dogs to that cheesy gourmet of goodness.

Q: Are these sites based on your early fantasies of girls' asses?


A:
I’ve been an assman since I was an ass-kid. My first memories for the fondn-ass of ass stems back to my Grade 2 teacher Mrs. Tommy and her skin-tight candy-apple-red slacks. Even though I was a single digit in the '70s, my sight was double focused on her back-end teachings, with a little help from Erin Gray’s shiny satin ass from the TV show Buck Rogers [in the 25th Century] and Daisy Duke from The Dukes of Hazzard.


I was a little too wet behind the ears to really know what the fascination was about, I just knew that was the direction I was destined to head into, so to speak.

Q: What has gone into your construction of a persona as the Canadian Assman?

A:
Since my teenage days of rebellion growing up in Nova Scotia I’ve always been into the music scene and imitating my rock-star idols. I learned guitar, grew the Bon Jovi curls, had my first rose tattoo done at the fishermen’s exhibition, dabbed on some '80s-style eyeliner and began the rock-star lifestyle. Or at least that’s how it was in my head.

Like most kids with that rebellious rock 'n' roll streak, I dreamed of being on stage, standing out from the crowd with my own unique look, style, sound and creative approach. Thus the construction began of your favourite Uncle D, the Canadian Assman, you see today, living that rock 'n' roll lifestyle and travelling the world photographing women’s asses.

Q: As you’re going about looking to photograph women's asses, do you find you have to live up to the persona all the time?

A:
The question: Am I Uncle D or is Uncle D me? Two in the same going in similar paths with a mutual destination. Whether I called myself Uncle D, Uncle Darrell, Brother Joe, Sister Sinner or any other group of slang-strung syllables, I am what I am – Uncle D, the Canadian Assman.



My persona has always been who I am but not always who you see. There’s a time and a place for everything, and when it isn’t the place for one the other steps in to take over. Plus, I get to blame the fuck-ups on my Uncle D character when I say or do something stupid.

Q: You have a large spider tattoo on your chest. How does it relate to your photography?

A:
I also have a large one on my back as well, plus a few dozen baby spiders crawling down my right arm with a rose bush of vines and thorns on my left arm. I’ve been getting tattoos since I was 16, so well over 24-plus years now, and it all stems from having that rock-star dream like most teenagers do.

I grew up being influenced by the rock stars of my day like KISS, Skid Row, Bon Jovi, W.A.S.P, Cinderella, etc. Hell, I even listened to Willie Nelson, Stompin' Tom Connors, Johnny Cash and even The Irish Rovers, thanks to my dad's love of an eight-track. Thus like most youth I mimicked what I saw and rearranged what I liked with my own style to create an extension of an extension.

Whether I made it as a rock star or ended up shovelling cow crap in rubber boots, I’ve always chosen to stand out from the norm and make my own brand in this carbon-copy world of sheep. I’m thankful that my body of rebellion caught up to my entrepreneur spirit because every creative piece of work needs a hook, a look or an image to stand apart on its own from the masses. It just worked out being able to incorporate my tattooed look into the image you see today as Uncle D, the Canadian Assman – to add that little bit extra to an overfilled world of copulation.

Q: You seem to photograph girls in skin-tight jeans, shorts, club wear. Do you find girls in these body-conscious styles appealing ordinarily?

A:
I love it! And as time and longevity have shown, so do my fans around the world. I’ve always been about the tease, the build-up, the shape and silhouette of a great ass in a pair of skin-tight jeans or shiny spandex.

Q: How do you respond to the notion that you’re engaging with soft porn?
A:
I don’t. You can’t run after every person out there that wants to point a finger of jealousy to mask their own insecurities and hidden agenda of dictatorship. The beautiful thing about a democracy and living in a free country is that we are all entitled to our own opinion, choice of lifestyle. As long as whatever you do in life is between two consensual adults and no one is getting harmed, to each their own.

Q: It’s interesting that some of the girls on your sites are boasting, describing their derrières in terms of size, shape. This culture seems to be obsessed with the appearance of bodies. Are you seeking models within a certain range, volume, character to their rears?
A:
Butt of course. You can’t very well be an ass connoisseur if the models you’re shooting don’t have an ass. When it comes to being an assman the term "size matters" does come into play. Personally, I’ve always preferred that hourglass figure, small waist, womanly hips, thighs and ass. The smaller girls are fine for bikini-style shots, etc., but will have a tendency to look shapeless when wearing skin-tight jeans, pants, catsuits, etc., whereas a curvy girl or someone with a bigger butt will push the outfit to its proverbial breaking point and that is exactly what an assman appreciates. At least this Canadian Assman does.

Q: What goes into deciding who's the booty model of the week?
A:
I’d like to say it’s some sort of advanced mathematical equation based on the structural flux of Internet-related keyword traffic in relation to the digital persuasion of an economic forecast for ass! But nope.

It’s more a mixture of what new photos I’ve taken that I want to give a little more exposure to, for the booty models, or often times I’m doing a thing called a traffic or content trade and promoting a fellow model or webmistress's website and will feature them as the booty model of the week to bring them more awareness of their site through my fan base.


Q: Have you looked at male rear shapeliness? Do you figure some women are interested in men's bottoms?
A:
No and yes. Let me put the first question this way. I also love receiving oral sex but there’s only 50 per cent of the population I’m interested in offering that to, and they don’t stand when they pee. To each their own as I always say. Whatever works for you is cool, just remember it may not work for everyone and that choice is to be respected.

From a business point of view, online adult-oriented membership joins are still primarily male based. However, I have noticed an increase in female memberships for my own work. For the most part men are a little more needing for visual sexual stimulation and are certainly more willing to drop a dime on a dime for a dime’s worth of digital time.


Q: What comments have you received about your own ass, in the course of this work? I imagine doing this work involves different conversations. What’s your best ass tale?
A:
I try not to make my own ass the centre of attention, per my last answer. But, yes, I do work out and you can’t pinch an inch on this ass. However, turn me around and feel free to start pinching the inches away.



As for ass tales, yes, I have accumulated a number of stories and happenings over the decade of shooting ass. I’ve been lucky enough to photograph ass in the Grotto at the Playboy Mansion, had an ass sit on my head on a park bench in the streets of Amsterdam, stared wide-eyed as professional porn-star ass performed an adult scene to a crowd of thousands at a sex show in Barcelona, Spain.



Recently I had a female fan and her boyfriend visit my booth here in Toronto at the Everything to Do with Sex Show. When she asked for a photo with me she was a little excited and worked up, and whispered in my ear she had to do something naughty for me and told me to feel her ass. Sure enough, between those denim buns was the outline of what some would call a pocket rocket going to work putting a smile on the young lady’s face. And, yes, I had a big grin after that as well. I have the best fans in the world!

Q: What’s your TV show Webdreams 2.0 developing like?

A:
There are three seasons of Webdreams currently airing. I had a cameo appearance on season 1, for four of the ten shows, alongside Dugmor as we did a road trip from a sex convention in Miami to Lake Havasu for the yearly Labor Day party and then off to Las Vegas.

Season 2 rolled around and they contacted me if I would be interested in appearing as a main character for season 2. With my global ass trekking schedule and a television crew, the airwaves were in for a good down home dose of rock 'n' roll reality and a whole lot of ass, Uncle D style.



Webdreams is a reality-based show documenting the ups and downs of trying to make it in the adult-oriented world of webmasters and models online. There's something for everyone, from swingers and porn stars to transsexuals and homosexuals opening the digital closet.

Q: Seems you like to visit local fetish dungeons, you’re into digital toys. You’re obsessed with interesting tattoos, ass pics, etc. You travel lots across this large nation of ours. Any surprising things you’ve found?

A:
Tons! And for $19.99 U.S. a month you can enjoy it all on Touchyourtoes.com, Skintightjeans.com and Smotherme.com.

One thing I have noticed across this nation is that there’s a shite load of assmen out there that appreciate the curves of a woman with a big ol' beautiful booty and the days of "tits on a stick" doesn’t hold the same sway with the masses, and men (and women) appreciate a little more rump with our roast.

Q: Do you feel a sort of national pride that you're doing this in Canadian borders? Do you think about this project going to other places?

A:
I’m 100 per cent Canadian from the shores of Atlantic Canada and proud to be known as the Canadian Assman to represent our great nation's fine natural resource of ass.

 There’s more to Canada than hockey, hospitality and beavers. The untapped resource is ass, and you can count on your favourite Uncle D, the Canadian Assman, to bring our great Canadian nation of ass to the international stage, Uncle D style.

Gallery: I Like Big Butts



21 Comments | Add a Comment
d is frank my gril has an ass for you man call 778 926 3403
Hi Uncle D What happen Ashleigh from sexy Canadian girls
The mASSter of booty strikes again!Awesome interview :D
Uncle D truly is a very humble celebrity....if someone wants a pic with him, they get it...he is a true maritimer and DEFINITELY has the best job in the world...sign up for touchyourtoes.com.Jeff Cogswell
This is one heck of a guy, straight shootin' no BS down to earth. Proud of you brah! The quality of your work is as strong as the quality of man you are. Keep bringin' your A game and we will always be there to hold you and Canadian ASS up high!
You're all assman's Uncle!!!Keep up the good work D!!!
You're all assman's Uncle!!!Keep up the good work D!!!
Hey great interview i have known Uncle D for a few years and everytime i meet up with him he brings the party ;P u know it D! Hes a very dedicated man and puts 150% into everything he does cuz "y do shit half-fast when u can do it right the first time" I hope u all appreciate his labor of love and as im sure everyone who has seen D's work will agree u can tell he loves what he does... i know i would too!!! lol
Hey Uncle D, congrats on the great article;-) Having hooked up with you at many shows over the years and hooking you up with some fine booty as well, you continue to refine you technique and style...I want to be like you when I grow up, lol!
D you hit the nail on the head man by saying we live in a free country and we are all entitled to our own opinion, choice of lifestyle. As long as whatever you do in life is between two consensual adults and no one is getting harmed, to each their own. More people need to look at life the same way and things will flow alot smoother!!!
Very well spoken D!! Wish I could have made it to the Halifax show to catch up and do a shoot. Congratulations and thanks to TORO! xox HealthyCurves
The world needs 2 things, Rock N Roll and Ass!Uncle D keeps it coming strong! a true role model for every young man!
UNCLE D'S ASSTASTIC WOMEN AND WEBSITE ARE AS GOOD AS A BLOWJOB A STEAK A JOINT AND BEER AT KISS CONCERT...AND I FOUND A TWENTY IN AN OLD PAIR OF JEANS!! ITS THAT DAM GOOD!
i love ass.
I want to say that Uncle D is truly one of the greatest guy's i have met! He is truly a down to earth guy with a passion. Don't think you know someone till you speak to them, Uncle D keep up the great work and continue staying real!CheersJoel
OMG look at the asses on these gorgeous Canadian women!Canadian women's asses are national ASSets!Keep up the good work!
Uncle D's the MAN!
Enjoyed you on the show and like your work. You have your ethics and you stick to them. Good job.
Uncle D you rock man..The True King of Ass..seen ya at the sex show in T.O and got the girlfriend's ass approved..Keep doing you thing..Thanks
Wicked article... Very Uncle D. :)
Congradulations Uncle D, I love the article!! Hurry back so we can shoot some new photos for www.SexyBootySuzy.comXOSuzy
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