You probably have a business or career mentor — that one person who passes on his wisdom and whose every move you wish to emulate. But do you have a sexual mentor? Someone to tell you how to “hit that” and when to “just play it cool"? No?! Well, that’s why your sex life isn’t everything you’ve always hoped it could be. So come on – pick that sexual mentor now and learn from the masters.

Don Draper

Disciples of this sociopathic, repressed lothario enjoy compartmentalizing their lives and keeping real emotion and relationships at arm’s length. To follow in Draper’s sexual footsteps, you’ll need these things: a wife you kind of hate, but then sometimes you don’t, but also you never tell her the truth about anything; a mistress who you have tremendous sex with, but who always winds up wanting more of you than you’re willing to give; a secret ex-wife who you share a platonic relationship with; awesome hair.

Jon Gosselin

If you’re a young man in your mid-20s filled with hope and promise and married to a pretty young woman, but your real dream is to inject that woman with drugs so she’ll have a freakish amount of babies then invite the world into your home to watch her treat you like shit and your personal life implode, followed by you becoming the poster boy for the mid-30s Ed Hardy-clad male identity crisis … then Gosselin’s your mentor! Have a blast! You’re totally going to get so many chicks.

Gargamel

Are you a recluse? Are you evil to the core? Do you have various cauldrons bubbling with potions at all times of the day? Would you describe yourself as a "cat guy"? Is your life pursuit the finding and killing of tiny blue men (and one tiny blue woman) so that you can make gold in your cave-like home laboratory? If the answer to any or all of those questions is "no," but you wish it could be "yes, yes, yes!" then watch old VHS tapes of this Smurfs bad guy to get a good sense of how to be as sexy as he is.

Phil Dunphy

This Modern Family dad is the nice guy’s mentor. Sure, Phil gets googlie eyes around big-breasted ladies, and no, he’s not very hip. But he’s a committed monogamist, which is kind of cool, right? You can have sex so much when you’re a monogamist. Like, three times a month! Crazy, right?

Ricky Martin

Yes, Ricky Martin is gay. But that doesn’t mean his sexual moves can only be copped by gay guys. If you’re straight, this pop star could still teach you a thing or two about getting tons of chicks: 1) make your own music videos that feature scantily clad, sweaty, ripped men; 2) have a huge gay fan base; 3) have children with a surrogate; 4) come out to the media as being a homosexual……On second thought, I take it back: maybe Ricky Martin can only mentor gay guys.